LB 15/3 
.A3> 



ISS'h 



THK 



IDISFSEHS ®Ii^ IPAIEHSS'SS^ 



IN REGARD TO 



THE SCHOOLS WHERE THEIR CHILDREN 



ARE 



INSTRUCTED 



» 



A 

LECTURE, 

DEIilVERED BEFORE 

THE AMERICAN INSTITUTE OF INSTRUCTION, 

AT THEIR ^1^ 

FIFTFI ANNUAL MEETING. 



BY JACOB ABBOTT. 



UBLISHED BY ORDER OF THE INSTITUTE 



• <l^iw 



BOSTON: 

TfTTLE AND WEEKS, PRINTERS 
1834. 



y 



\^ 









AMERICAN INSTITUTE OF INSTRUCTION. 

The Institute was first orjjanized in August, 1830. " Its object 
is to diffuse useful knowiodu*^ in regard to education." About the 
twentieth of August arnLially, a series of eighteen or twenty 
lectures is delivered on UK ohject, nature and means of education, 
and the best modes of teaching. Each series is published and 
bound by itself Four neat octavo volumes have thus been pro- 
duced, and put within the reach of as many as will read, and any 
one may, for a moderate sum, avail himself of the united wisdom 
of the most experienced instructors and some of the ablest and best 
friends of education in the country. 

TJie annual session of the Institute usually continues about a 
Wf^k. It is attended by teachers and others interested in the 
cause of education from all parts of the United States. Variety 
and interest are given to the exercises by frequent and animated 
discussion. The room of the Institute, at the corner of Wash- 
ington and School streets, is furnished with a great variety of 
school books and appara^^ several valuable periodicals, and some 
standard works on ih^Plucalion and the philosophy of mind. 
Thus the teacher has a convenient place of resort, where he may 
read or talk or select his class books. 
Boston, August 26, 1834.. 



Entered according to Act of Congress in the year 1834, by 
Richard B. Cartkr, Treasurer of ilie American Institute of In- 
struction, in the Clerk's office of the District Court of Massa- 
chusetts. 



Iff KXCHANOr 

«r3 'OS 



@t! 



LECTURE 



The duties which devolve upon parents, in reference 
to the schools where their children are to be educated, 
commence with the first arrangements for securing a 
teacher. The duty of selecting and engaging a teacher 
is usually assigned, it is true, to a committee ; but in a 
country so thoroughly republican as ours is, such a com- 
mittee will almost always act in accordance with what 
they suppose to be the public voice. If, therefore, in 
their daily intercourse with the various parents from 
whom they receive their commission to act, they see in- 
dications of indifference, or hear remarks implying that 
close economy is the main thing to be consulted, it will 
make an impression upon them which will have great 
influence when they come together to act. On the other 
hand, if the several members of such a committee per- 
ceive that the community feel a special interest in the 
business, that they are ready to sustain them in eifectual 
measures, and that parents are all looking forward with 
interest to their decision, and to the arrangements which 
they are to be the means of carrying into effect, they will 
be animated and encouraged. They will feel that their 
duties are of some importance, and that they are felt to 
be of importance by the community around them, and 
they will accordingly be more circumspect, more cau- 
tious, and more efficient in every step they take. 

A committee, in such a country as ours, generally pos- 
sess far less real power than is usually supposed. It 
is public sentiment which really decides ; the individuals 



4 DUTIES OF PARENTS. 

commissioned to act in behalf of the community, cannot 
go much beyond this public sentiment, nor can they 
safely fall far short of it. In fact, committees are chosen 
generally with reference not so much to the particular 
knowledge they may have in regard to the nature of the 
business to be entrusted to them, as to their knowledge 
of the circumstances and views of their constituents. 
To these circumstances and to these views they are justly 
expected to conform ; so that actual measures in respect 
to all such subjects as these, are really controlled by pub- 
lic opinion. 

Allow us to say, then, to the parents whom this address 
may reach, that the first duty which you have to dis- 
charge m respect to the school, is to feel yourselves, and 
to do what you can to awaken in others, an interest in 
it before it is commenced. Converse about it with one 
another. Assist in makinij inquiries in respect to a 
teacher, and show, by the spirit and interest with which 
you enter into the plan, that you feel it to be of great 
importance, and that you are ready to sustain any proper 
efforts for securing the full advantage which the system 
of public instruction, under the most favorable circum- 
stances, is able to confer. Thus you give the cause -an 
impulse at the outset. The coinniittee perceive that 
their action is attracting notice, and is felt to be of im- 
portance, and consequently their interest and vigilance 
are very tnuch increased . Better arrangements are made ; 
they look over a wider field, and make a better selection 
of a teacher. The teacher perceives, both by the tone 
of the correspondence, and by the aspect which affairs 
present on his arrival in the district or village, that the 
whole community are interested in his work. He has 
not come to his new station of duty to go through a mere 
routine, in which nobody is interested, and which he 
may therefore perform in the dark, with indolence and 
carelessness. His own interest in his work is quickened 
by the friendly interest on the part of others, which he 
sees all around him ; and the importance which he sees 
is attached to his labors by his patrons magnifies their 
importance in his own view. This will not only tend to 
make him industrious and faithful, but it will make his 



DUTIES OF PARENTS. & 

work a pleasure. We all like to do what the community 
are interested in seeing us do, and there is nothing like 
being the objects of friendly observation, to animate and 
quicken and cheer every species of human toil. 

II. Make proper efforts, and be willing to incur the 
necessary expense, to secure the best teacher whom you 
can obtain. In the selection of a teacher, there is very 
frequently a great mistake made in overlooking the most 
important qualification ; we mean interest in the young. 
If a man reads well, and writes a handsome hand, and 
has made good progress in arithmetic ; and if he is gen- 
tlemanly in his person and manners and of good charac- 
ter, many a committee would consider his qualifications 
complete. Many such men have been employed, and 
have failed utterly in their attempts at teaching and gov- 
erning their pupils. The committee cannot understand 
what the difficulty is. The first line on the page in 
the boys' writing-books, looks like copperplate; — but 
all the others continue, week after week, as bad as they 
ever were. The master can solve at once all the hard 
problems which the older boys bring him, by way of 
testing his skill, but yet, some how or other, that row of 
little boys who were entangled in the mysteries of simple 
division when he came, are just as much entangled still. 
There is little improvement in reading; — little order^ 
though there is great severity, — and every few weeks 
the whole neighborhood is thrown into excitement by 
the occurrence of some difficulty between the teacher 
and a scholar, — the parents and their friends insist- 
ing that the master is partial, unjust, and cruel, and the 
master as firmly maintaining that the boy has the most 
obstinate and sullen temper which he ever had any- 
thing to do with. Thus between the scholarship of 
the teacher and the ignorance and frailty of his pupils, 
there is a great chasm, which interest and affi^ction only 
could close, and, unhappily, there is no interest or affec- 
tion to close it. 

But you will ask, how can we know whether any par- 
ticular teacher possesses, in addition to the proper 
literary qualifications, this interest in the young so 
necessary to success ? You cannot tell until he has beet* 
2 



6 . DUTIES OF PARENTS. 

tried. If the candidate who offers himself for your 
school, has been a teacher before, spare no trouble and 
expense in ascertaining what was his actual success in 
securing the progress of his pupils, his own ascendency 
over them, their good will, and a spirit of subordination 
and quiet within his jurisdiction. If you find that in 
these particulars he has been successful on actual trial, 
especially if you find proofs of his having taken a pride 
and a pleasure in the discharge of his duties, and a 
personal interest in the pupils committed to his care, 
spare no expense in securing his services. No money is 
so well expended as that which is made really to tell 
upon the moral and intellectual improvement of your 
children. Many a man who has neglected their interests 
when they were young, in order that he might save 
money, or gain money, would gladly in his old age give 
up all the land, oi the bank stock which he had thus 
acquired, if he could, by that means, repair the injury 
caused by his neglect, and instead of being harassed by 
the evil deeds of a wild, vicious, and abandoned man, 
who vvas once his child, could be cheered and sustained 
in his old age, by an industrious, virtuous, and dutiful 
son. No; — spare no expense, which can be made 
really to tell upon the moral and intellectual improve- 
ment of your children. 

III. You can cooperate very powerfully with the 
teacher whom you shall employ, by taking an interest in 
his plans and labors, after he shall enter upon his work. 
In order to do this effectually, consider his difficulties, 
and the trying nature of the responsibilities which 
devolve upon him. You yourselves often get out of 
patience with your children, though there are perhaps 
but half a dozen under your care, while he has half a 
hundred. You have only to govern them ; he has to 
govern the whole multitude, and to carry all the individ- 
uals forward in their studies at the same time. You are 
accountable to no human power for your management 
of your family, but he is responsible to many parents, 
and has urged upon him from time to time, many wishes, 
various and conflicting, and finds all around him expect- 
ations which it is impossible to fulfil. . Parents should 



DUTIES OF PARENTS. 7 

consider these things as the inevitable diificulties and 
trials of the teacher's lot, and do all in their power, by 
the sympathy and the interest they feel for him, to 
mitigate or remove them. 

It is very decidedly for the interest of parents, to do 
all they can to make the teacher's situation agreeable to 
him, for this reason, viz., his success will depend more 
upon the pleasure he feels in his work than upon almost 
anything besides. Teaching and governing your chil- 
dren is not a mechanical business whose duties are well 
defined and explicit, so that you can secure the successful 
performance of them by the cold compulsion of a con- 
tract. A spirit of mutual interest and good will, makes 
any business go smoothly, but it is almost absolutely 
indispensable to secure success in a work in which the 
heart is so much concerned, as in the business of teach- 
ing. If you have agreed with a man to frame a house, 
or to get in a certain quantity of hay, or to collect a 
debt, or to build a bridge, it will make comparatively 
little difference whether you take any special interest in 
the manner in which he does it or not. 

These employments are of such a nature, that a man 
of ordinary fidelity may be bound by a simple agreement, 
to attend to them properly, and he will perhaps, in most 
cases, attend to them properly, if left to himself. There 
is a certain standard of faithfulness, well defined and 
well understood, up to which any man of good character 
will come almost of course, and beyond w^hich he can- 
not go very far, whatever may be the interest he may 
take in his labor. But if you employ a man to write a 
Lyceum lecture, the nature of the case is totally differ- 
ent. If he is a man of good character, he will devote a 
fair proportion of time and attention to it, but above the 
point to which his general character for fidelity will 
carry him, there is room for him to rise indefinitely, 
according as your interest in what he is doing shall 
awaken and invigorate him. In other words, if a faithful 
man is executing some mechanical labor, by friendly 
observation, and interest in his work, you may lead him 
to do a little better, but in intellectual or moral efforts 
you may lead him to do twice or three times as well. If, 



8 DUTIES OF PARENTS. 

while a man is mowing, his neighbors come and look 
over him, his efforts and success will be increased per- 
haps five or ten per cent ; bfit if he is writing an oration, 
and knows that the conmiunity are waiting with interest 
for its delivery, it will increase the spirit and success of 
his effort a hundred or five hundred per cent. In all 
business, then, you may quicken the energies of those 
who are performing it, by friendly observation, but in 
business in which the feelincrs or the intellect are con- 
cerned, you may double or treble them. An intelligent 
congregation might almost make a dull minister elo- 
quent, by the application of this simple principle. Let 
them all come to church punctually, — look the preacher 
full in the face while he is speaking, — and make his 
sermon and the sentiments it contams, the subject of 
friendly conversation during the week. The mind of 
the preacher would soon feel the impulse. He would see 
that himself and his performances were brought out into 
day, and thus the action of minds around him would 
quicken and invigorate his own. 

The influence and the benefit of such friendly obser- 
vation, are much more powerful and immediate in the 
case of the teacher than in any other. But let it be 
remembered, that by friendly observation we do not 
mean watching the school to discover faults, nor attempt- 
ing to interfere in its management by advice, and 
proposals of new plans, or modifications of existing 
arrangements. This may be right sometimes, though 
seldom ; and at any rate, such an influence is not what 
we refer to here, li'xs friendly observation, — taking 
an interest in the plans adopted, visiting the school, — 
observing its good points, and sustaining and strengthen- 
ing the teacher's hands. 

IV. Submit cheerfully to the necessary arrangements 
of the school, which are required for the general good. 
When fifty families unite to support a school, each must 
submit to some inconveniences in order to secure the 
greatest good to all. In classifying scholars, one must 
be put a little higher, and another a little lower than 
they might go, were it not for the necessity of classi- 
fication. In the same manner, rules and regulations, 
adapted to the general state of things in a school, must 



DUTIES OF PARENTS. 9 

be more strict than would be necessary for some of the 
older and better scholars, and perhaps not as strict as 
would be desirable for some others. It is the greatest 
good of the greatest number, which is really to be aimed 
at in the organization and management of the school. 

Whenever parents find fault with the manner in 
which their own children are classed and taught, and the 
degree of attention which is paid to them, they almost 
always overrate the proportion of time and attention to 
which they are justly entitled. The following dialogue, 
not wholly imaginary, will put this in a clear light. 

A lady knocked at the door of a school-room and 
asked to see the master. He came to the door and the 
following conversation ensued. 

Mother. I have been wanting to see you, sir, about 
George. I don't think he is in the right class in 
Geography ; he has been over that little Geography once, 
and I don't see the use in his studying it any more. So 
I have bought him a Worcester's Geography and should 
like to have him study that. 

Teacher, But we have no class in Worcester's Geog-^ 
raphy. 

Mother. Have n't you ? Have n't you any other cla&s 
in Geography except the one he is in ? 

Teacher. Yes, we have one in Woodbridge's larger 
Geography, but it is composed of scholars very much 
older than he is. I think he could not go on with them. 

Mother. Well, then, I think I should rather have hira 
go on alone, than put in that little class. 

Teacher. Just as you please, madam. I will make 
any arrangement you choose, which I can make consist- 
ently with my obligations to the other scholars. If he 
goes on alone, you are aware I can devote but very little 
time to him. 

Mother. Well, if you do not devote more than tea 
minutes to him, I should rather have him go on in 
Worcester's Geography than continue as he is. 

Teacher. But ten minutes would be a great deal 
more than I could devote to hira, consistently with th© 
claims of the others. 

Mother. Why, sir, his father pays as much tax in pro- 
portion as any man, and I think we have a right to 
2* 



10 DUTIES OF PARENTS. 

expect that our children shall receive their fair share 
of attention. 

Teacher. Certainly, madam. But consider a moment 
what his fair share is. I have sixty scholars, and there 
are in the forenoon three hours only, making just three 
minutes for each scholar. So that if I attend to my 
pupils separately, I could not give more than three min- 
utes to any one, without giving the others cause of 
complaint. Now in reading, writing, spelling, grammar, 
and arithmetic, and other things, your son is classed with 
the other boys, so that only a very small proportion of 
the three minutes could be assigned to Geography. I 
should think not more than half a minute. 1 can hear 
him alone, devoting that time to him if you wish it, — or 
I can put him in the large class, and let him get on as 
well as he can. I supposed it would be better for him 
to be classed where he is, but just as you please, I will 
make any arrangement which you desire. 

The mother looked perplexed ; and on making further 
inquiries respecting the class in question, found that the 
representations which she had taken without any ques- 
tion, from her boy, were, as might have been expected, 
such as to give very erroneous views of the state of the 
case, she therefore, very cheerfully withdrew her claim 
for separate instruction. 

Now we do not mean by such an illustration, or by 
any of our remarks on this subject, that parents are 
never to make any suggestions to the teacher about the 
condition and progress of their children. Cases undoubt- 
edly occur in which they ought to do so. But it would 
be well for them always to be sure that they really un- 
derstand the facts rightly, before they propose changes, 
and to take care to consider what is the fair proportion 
of the teacher's time and attention, to which they are 
justly entitled. 

V. Do not judge the teacher on the testimony of your 
children. 'Inhere are a great many causes which should 
prevent reliance generally on their evidence alone, and 
though there is perhaps no kind of testimony which is 
more readily and unhesitatingly received, than the stories 
children tell to their parents at home, about occurrences 
at school, there is no kind which ought to be received 
with more caution. 



DUTIES OF PARENTS, 11 

1. Children are liable to bias on account of the very 
immaturity of their minds. Some judgment is neces- 
sary in order even to understand and state facts ; for 
there are very few transactions so clear and definite and 
precise, in their character, that the narrator must either 
describe them just as they occurred, or else wilfully fal- 
sify. The judgment is very much concerned, in all 
cases, so that even in a court of justice, almost as much 
depends upon the intelligence, as upon the honesty of the 
V/'itness. This is especially the case in regard to such 
subjects as are usually made matter of discussion be- 
tween a teacher and the parent, in respect to which the 
testimony of the child is usually so unhesitatingly re- 
ceived. They relate perhaps to the nature of his studies, 
to the manner in which he is classed, to cases of disci- 
pline, the degree of guilt incurred, the degree of severity 
used, the state of opinion among the other scholars, and 
other similar topics. Now it is perfectly plain that state- 
ments in regard to all such points, involve not merely 
matters of fact, but matters of opinion ; or rather the 
whole account which the child gives, is really a state- 
ment of its own view of certain things observed, and the 
parents, while they imagine that they are merely giving 
the child credit for truth in telling what it has actually 
seen, are really taking, without question, its opinions on 
a subject which it is utterly incapable of really under- 
standing. 

2. Again, children are peculiarly exposed to bias, 
from their feelings, in their statements about affairs at 
school. A desire to have easier lessons, or to be put into 
a more honorable class, or to be relieved from some 
wholesome restraint, or to take the part of some play- 
mate involved in difficulty, and a thousand other similar 
feelings are very likely to come in and color essentially 
their statements, and especially their opinions about what 
might seem, at first view, to be merely a matter of fact. 
Now we do not mention these' feelings as very culpable, 
but only as sources of bias which really exist, on the 
part of children, and of which parents ought to be aware, 
that they may be on their guard against the coloring 
which, from these causes, must inevitably be given to their 
children's statements. It is very natural that children 
should not like restraint, or that they should sympathize 



12 DUTIES OF PARENTS. 

with a companion in difficulty. Tt is very natural too, 
that, when there is no intention of saying what is false, 
the imagination of a child, excited by these or similar 
feelings, should exert a very powerful influence upon his 
testimony. 

Cases very often occur, in which parents, on state- 
ments received from their children, come at once to a 
decision in respect to them. They may decide to take 
some important step, or may be even aroused to a feeling 
of indignation, which they go forth to express by words 
or deeds, and find, when it is too late, that they certainly 
mistook the case. They set the neighborhood in a flame, 
or come with angry or threatening words to the commit- 
tee or to the teacher, and on a little explanation, find all 
the grounds and causes of their anger actually slipping 
away from under them. There is something a little lu- 
dicrous in the figure a man makes, when he thus bristles 
into high displeasure at an object, which when he comes 
up to it, and brings down a determined blow upon its 
head, vanishes into air. Men are often placed in such 
a condition, especially when they allow their feelings to 
be aroused, in respect to any transaction, after hearing 
only one side. In such a world as this, where there is 
so much useless and groundless anger, we had all better 
make it a rule to be frugal of our indignation, until we 
are pretty sure there is cause. Resentment, whether 
right or wrong, may someti:nes be the means of removing 
difficulties or rectifying abuses, — but it is a very expen- 
sive and troublesome means, and the man who is deter- 
mined to employ it, ought, at least, to make sure of the 
occasion. 

Once more ; there is one other consideration which 
ought to influence parents, in receiving their children's 
statements. Many children will tell falsehoods, and the 
parent is tlie last to suspect his own child. Now we are 
Tery far from wishing to promote a habit of suspicion in 
the parents. Nothing can be more injurious. Children 
should be treated with frankness, and their word never, 
or at least very seldom, be openly called in question, un- 
less there is clear and positive evidence of its falseness. 
Still the fact that young persons are so prone to under- 
yalue truth, and to be led by slight temptations to deviate 



DUTIES OF PARENTS. 13 

from it, ought to make parents very cautious about taking 
any important step, or even forming a decided opinion io 
regard to transactions at school, merely on their state- 
ment. Where is the man, who can honestly say he never 
told a wilful falsehood in his youth? He is scarcely to 
be found. 

We have no doubt however that a very large proportion 
of children can generally be depended upon, in respect 
to their word ; and ordinarily the less they are suspect- 
ed, the more faithful they will be. All we mean to say 
is, that they are all peculiarly exposed, in case of strong 
temptation, to conceal or to prevaricate, and there are 
not a few whose word is worthy of no confidence what- 
ever. These are generally more artful, and consequently 
more unsuspected, especially by their parents ; for pa- 
rents are always slow to discover the faults of their own 
children. Every teacher of experience has had cases 
where a parent has assured him that his child always 
spoke the truth. — " I never knew him," he says, " to 
tell me a falsehood in his life." And yet the teacher has 
had repeated evidence of his duplicity. In such a case 
we have known the evidence to be presented to the pa- 
rent — and then, after looking confounded for a minute, 
he gravely insists, that it must be/he very first instance 
of the kind which ever occurred^ As we have before re- 
marked, all parents are prone to be blind to the faults of 
their children, and this fact, which no sensible father or 
mother can deny, should lead all, — not to be distrustful 
and suspicious of their children, — not to chill, by their 
jealousy and want of confidence, that frankness and in- 
genuousness which may be so easily cultivated in child- 
hood, — but simply to be aware of the dangers to which 
their children are exposed, and never take any important 
step, or let slip hasty and criminating words, or even 
come to an unfavorable decision against a teacher, with- 
out gaining access to surer sources of information than 
the exparte testimony of pupils can be. 

VI. When the teacher has done wrong, do not condemn 
him too severely. The best of teachers must do wrong 
sometimes, and parents should soften the displeasure 
they may otherwise feel, by reflecting upon the peculiar 
trials and difficulties of his employment. Be very care- 



14 DUTIES OF PARENTS. 

ful, too, that whatever measures you may take shall not 
be of such a character as to injure his authority in the 
school. Never express your opinion against him in the 
presence of your children, or give them the impression 
that in their contests with him, should they be inclined to 
enter into any, you will take their side. If he has made 
a mistake, consider what measures you can take lo rem- 
edy it, but do not talk about it among your neighbors, 
and with your children, simply to get the victory in 
public opinion. It will only make the matter the worse, 
both for the school, the neighborhood, and especially for 
your own child. Consider, we say, what measures you 
can take, and take them kindly, deliberately, and with a 
friendly feeling. You must keep the peace between 
yourselves and him, for all the bitterest of the fruits of 
the contention, if contention arise, come upon the head 
of your child. The pupil stands defenceless between 
you, and if you come to a rupture, his moral sensibilities, 
and every better feeling of the heart are crushed by the 
collision. 

Set your children such an example, too, as you wish 
them to imitate. Whatever your spirit is, they will im- 
bibe it, and you will see your habits imitated, and carried 
out to extremes in their conduct. Parents see this in 
very young children, and are often made acquainted with 
some of their own personal peculiarities, by seeing them 
reflected in the actions of a little child. This tendency 
to follow where you lead, becomes stronger and more 
uncontrollable the older your children grow. If you are 
passionate, unsteady in your government, impatient and 
irritable, they will be so too, and thus you communicate 
to your offspring, a moral contamination which is far 
worse than any hereditary physical disease. 

Such are some of the more prominent duties, which 
parents have to discharge in reference to the schools 
where their children are instructed. Far more, however, 
of the child's character, and progress at school, depends 
upon the general system of management under which he 
is brought up at home. Children well trained at the fire- 
side make no trouble for their teacher ; but when irreg- 
ularity, insubordination and passion reign at home, they 
will bring forth their rank fruits in the school-room, unless 



DUTIES OF PARENTS. 15 

the most energetic authority keeps them down, and if pa- 
rental neglect makes such authority necessary, they who 
cause, it must not complain of its exercise. 

In looking into human life, and seeing how entirely 
dependent, for character and happiness, the child is 
upon the parent, we cannot but consider it one of the 
greatest of the innumerable mysteries of divine Provi- 
dence, that one human being should be placed so com- 
pletely in the hands of another. The wonder is 
increased, by thinking how much skill, how much 
knowledge, how much firmness, what decision atone 
lime, and what delicacy of moral touch, if 1 may so 
express it, at another, are necessary, in order to succeed 
in training up the infant mind as it ought to be trained. 
It would sometimes almost seem that God has given to 
parents a work to do, of such intrinsic difficulties, as 
very far exceed the capacities and the powers of those 
whom he has commissioned to execute it. There seems, 
at first view to be a want of correspondence, between 
what, in a wisely balanced plan, we might suppose ought 
to be nicely adapted to each other, — the moral capabil- 
ities of the parent, and the moral necessities of the child. 
We say at first view, for on more mature reflection, we 
discover simple principles which common sense and 
honest faithfulness will always suggest, and which, stead- 
ily pursued, must secure favorable results. Among the 
lower classes of society, we find many, very many 
families of children well brought up, and among the 
hisher classes, and those too where virtue and christian 
principle seem to reign, and where religious instruction is 
profusely given, we find total failure. The children are 
sources of trouble and wretchedness to their parents, 
from the time when they gain the first victory over their 
mother, by screaming and struggling in the cradle, to 
the months of wretchedness in later life, during which 
they are brought home, night after night, from scenes of 
dissipation and vice, to break a mother's heart, or to 
blanch the cheek of a father with suppressed and silent 
suff'ering. 

What are the causes of these sad failures ? 

Why are cas^s so frequent in which the children of 
virtuous men grow up vicious and abandoned ? There 



IG DUTIES OP PARENTS 

are many nice and deJicate adjustmenis neocooc.j, „ ** 
secure the highest and 6f'S^ results in tlie education of a 
child, but the principles necessary for tolerable success, 
must be few and sim[)le. There are two, which we wish 
we had a voice loud enough to thunder in the ears of 
every parent in the country ; — these are two, the breach 
of one or the other of which, will explain almost every 
case of gross failure on the part of virtuous parents, 
which we have ever knovv-n. They are these : 

1. Keep your children from bad company, and 

2. Make them obey you. 
There is no time to enlarge on these points, but it 

seems to us, that habits of insubordination at home, and 
the company of bad boys abroad, are the two great 
sources of evil, which undo so much of what moral and 
religious instruction would otherwise effect. The cur- 
rent of parental interest is setting towards mere instruc- 
tion to such an""extent, as to overrate altogether its power ; 
and the immense injury which comes in from such 
sources as bad company and insubordination, is over- 
looked and forgotten. What folly, to think that a boy 
can play with the profane, impure, passionate boys which 
herd in the streets, six days in the week, and have the 
stains all wiped away by being compelled to learn his Sun- 
day-school lesson on the seventh, or that children who 
make the kitchen or the nursery scenes of riot and noise, 
from the age of three to eight years, will be prepared for 
anything in after life, but to carry the spirit of insubor- 
dination and riot wherever they may go. No ; children 
should be taught most certainly, — but they must also 
be taken care of. They niust be governed at home, and 
be kept from contaminating influences from abroad, or 
they are ruined. If parents ask how shall we make our 
children obey, we answer, in the easiest and pleasantest 
way you can, but at all events make tkeim obey. If 
you ask how shall we keep our boys from bad company, 
— we answer too, in the easiest and pleasantest way you 
possibly can, but at all events, keep them out of the 
STREETS. The alternative, it seems to us, is as clear and 
decided as any which circumstances ever made up for 
man ; you must govern your children and keep them away 
from the contamination of vice, or you mustexpect to spend 
your old age, in mourning over the ruins of your family. 



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